49 pages 1 hour read

Ramani Durvasula

It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People

Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 2024

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Index of Terms

Boundary Setting

Boundary setting refers to the process of establishing limits that protect an individual’s emotional and psychological well-being. Durvasula emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries in relationships with narcissists to avoid exploitation and maintain personal integrity. Effective boundary setting can mitigate the impact of narcissistic behaviors by clearly defining what is acceptable and unacceptable in interactions.

Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive dissonance occurs when an individual holds contradictory beliefs, values, or emotions simultaneously, leading to psychological stress. In the context of narcissistic abuse, victims often experience cognitive dissonance as they struggle to reconcile the idealized image of the abuser with harmful behaviors. Durvasula explains that cognitive dissonance can cause victims to rationalize or excuse abusive actions, perpetuating the cycle of abuse.

Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. Narcissists often lack empathy, a central deficit that enables them to manipulate and harm others without remorse. Durvasula discusses how the absence of empathy in narcissists underlies many of their destructive relational patterns and affects their victims.

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