The Book of Longings

Ana, unsure where to begin when she arrives in Jerusalem, heads to Bethany, to the home of Lazarus. Lazarus tells her of the rising reputation of her husband, how his message incited much excitement among the Jews. His preaching of love generated talk that Jesus is the long-promised Messiah and the Jews await his word to start a revolt against the Romans. Ana wants only to stop Judas. Lazarus tells her that Jesus went to the city and there caused quite a commotion when he cleared the Temple area of the moneychangers and the merchants. Ana heads to the city.

Once in the city, Ana goes to the garden near Gethsemane where she knew her husband went to pray. She finds not Jesus but rather Judas, hunched over his knees in obvious distress. He confesses to his sister that he arranged for Herod’s men to arrest Jesus. He believed Jesus’s death would cause the Jews at last to revolt. “I wanted to give the people a reason to revolt. I wanted to help bring about God’s kingdom. I thought It was what he wanted me to do” (370). Now he sees the magnitude of his error and begs Ana’s forgiveness.