Without Merit

Merit’s trophy collection reflects her sarcastic and eccentric personality while symbolizing the many complex and troubling memories onto which she holds. While the presentation of a trophy usually recognizes an achievement, Merit subverts the meaning behind the trophies to make light of the troubling situations in her life. For example, immediately after Merit attempts to die by suicide, she thinks, “I’m going to need a really big trophy after tonight. Maybe I can find an unwanted Academy Award statuette on eBay” (217). The trophies are a comfort and a distraction to Merit as she likes their gaudy and showy look; however, they remind her of how often other people feel celebrated while she feels ignored.

The trophy collection represents how Merit struggles to let go of the past. She holds onto the lies and secrets of her family members and the rejection from her peers at school, causing her to feel isolated in all her communities. The trophies that Merit collects were meaningless to their original owners, symbolizing that Merit wants things that other people take for granted. She wants her family to celebrate and acknowledge her but feels undervalued.